A Date with Adonis

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Thanks Sophie for sharing this story of a terrible, terrible date:

“I was on a date in a restaurant with a lad who had just started modelling.

To break the ice, I said, jokingly: “It must be quite boring coming back home after that job in Rome?”

He replied: “Actually, it’s nice not to be surrounded by beautiful women for a change.”

He did try and explain that he’d meant they were quite shallow, the conversation was dull, etc – but I had already mentally stabbed him with my fork.

Thank you Sophie!

If you’ve got a dating horror story to share, please click: http://thewinninglines.com/tell-me-your-story/

Definitely not a stalker.

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I emailed him my number, so he could ring me for a chat. He rang me, withholding his number. Here’s an excerpt from the conversation:

Him: “So, what do you do?”
Me: “I’m a writer and a musician. How about you?”
Him: “Oh, I’m not going to tell you, sorry. You could be a stalker or something.”
Me: “Riiiiight. Hey, for all I know, you could be a stalker too.”
Him: “I’m not”.
Me: “Well, there you go, neither am I”.
Him: “Well, I don’t know that for sure. Do you still fancy a drink?”
Me: “Are you going to tell me what your job is?”
Him: “When I meet you. I have to be sure you’re not a stalker”.

I know I should have run away at this point, and I knew I wasn’t going to be romantically interested in him, but my curiosity was piqued… What was his job? What was he hiding? I had to meet him.

Eventually we arranged a meeting place and time.

Him: “Great. I’ve got your number so if anything changes I’ll give you a call.”
Me: “Fine. What about if I have a problem and need to call you, what’s your number?”
Him: “Sorry, I’m not going to give it to you. You might be a stalker.”
Me: “But you’ve got my number.”
Him: “But I know I’m not a stalker. I don’t know about you though.”
Me: “Riiiiight.”

Don’t argue with a man who’s armed with scissors

 

Within 20 minutes of meeting him, he murmured in my ear, “So, how about you come round to my house later and give me a blow job?”.

Now, let’s be clear, we weren’t actually on a date or anything (even so, it would have been rather forward…). No.

He was my new hairdresser.

Yes, he was cutting my hair, in the middle of a salon, when he decided to give me the come-on. And I still have no idea, to this day, what compelled him to take that conversational turn. And, no, I didn’t accept his kind offer.

The profile picture of Dorian Gray

He looked lovely in his profile picture; sadly, it turned out it was taken fifteen years ago. While there’s nothing wrong with getting older, it’s not right to mislead someone.

I don’t understand why people lie about things like that; they’re going to be busted straight away.

Some people argue that those lines are fine, as it gives you the best chance of getting a date with someone. But I’m not convinced, and I spent the rest of the date wondering what else he was lying about.

Anyway. We didn’t have much to talk about and there was no chemistry at all. He called me the next week to ask me out again; I politely declined and told him that I didn’t think there was a spark there.

He then lectured me for five minutes about being too quick to judge; he felt that we should go on a few dates before I could possibly know whether we had chemistry or not. I said no thank you again, a little more firmly this time.

“It’s your loss”, he told me.

the anorak of love

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Hey, here’s our first guest post! Thanks Debs for sharing this story of a terrible, terrible date:

“We went to the cinema, and he turned up wearing the ugliest orange anorak I’d ever seen. After the film, he said he needed the loo and asked me to hold his jacket.

He was in the loo for about half an hour, while I was left as the weirdo hanging around outside the men’s with a bright orange thing under my arm! I’d have run off, or assumed he’d done the same, if I wasn’t holding the damn thing!

When he came out, he took his jacket, said he was tired and went home.

I did see his unattended anorak in the library a few weeks later, but needless to say, I didn’t stick around in case he asked me to hold it again!”

Thank you Debs!

If you’ve got a dating horror story to share, please click: http://thewinninglines.com/tell-me-your-story/