Category Archives: Overkeen

Lost In Translation

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Text received after first date: “I’m sat here in my blue underpants, contemplating whether to abuse myself or not”.

In fairness, English wasn’t his first language. But still, it remains the least erotic text I’ve ever received ever ever ever.

Podophilia

“OOOOOOOH, you’ve got lovely big feet, haven’t you? I give a really good foot massage. Some women have got really small feet. I bet I could give yours a really good rub”. 

This, on a first date. Half an hour into a first date. Bit much.