“OOOOOOOH, you’ve got lovely big feet, haven’t you? I give a really good foot massage. Some women have got really small feet. I bet I could give yours a really good rub”.
This, on a first date. Half an hour into a first date. Bit much.
“You’re a woman, so how do you know so much about music? Then again, you’re not really a girly girl, are you? You’re more into the things that the blokes are. I bet you’re still into hair and handbags though.”
I have a variety of interests, including music. I don’t really see music as being something specifically male or female, but then again, I don’t think interests should really be classed by gender. I’m not hugely into hair or handbags, for the record, but so what if I was?
Me: “Hi, nice to meet you finally. How are you?”
Him: “Still really nervous. This is the first date I’ve been on in twenty years”.
Me: “Well, no worries, we’ve all got to get back in the dating game at some point. When did you and your wife split up?”
Him: “Last month.”
Me: “Oh. Really? Er, OK, but isn’t that a bit soon to be dating, maybe?”
Him: “Well, why not? You never know when you might meet the love of your life! It could be you!”
IT WASN’T ME.
We’d been seeing each other for a while, but he kept telling me that he wasn’t ready for a proper relationship. Then he sent me an email explaining that he really liked me but had some concerns. Helpfully, he included them as a list.
We found each other on the internet; we both loved music and started chatting. After a few emails, he suggested a drink.
I was on time. I’m always on time. He was late.
He finally arrived, sweaty and unapologetic, and said he had to tell me something:
“You know, I’ve never been on a date with someone with kids before. I always knock back the single mothers straight away, I’m not into them, I’ve no interest in kids, I don’t even like them. But your picture was really nice so I thought I’d make an exception for you.”
Ah! The Date-Killer Klaxon; I’m on a date with King Herod.
Yes, I’m a single mum. I come as a package with two kids; I’m not looking for a new dad for them (they have their own perfectly good father already), but whoever I’m with has got to get on with them. It’s never going to work with someone who openly admits that he doesn’t like children.
I’m still not sure why he thought that line was a compliment in any shape or form.