It’s not about the money, money, money


I’d been seeing a guy for a little while. He had some strange habits, including texting me to warn me that I probably shouldn’t be dating him*.

One of these texts simply read: “I don’t have the money to have a girlfriend right now”.

I’ve often puzzled over that text. Girlfriends aren’t commodities to be bought. Sure, money makes life easier but being with someone isn’t about money; companionship isn’t measured out with bouquets of flowers and dinner at The Ivy. 

If you don’t have money to burn, just cut your cloth accordingly. Go for a walk in the park. Go to a museum. Make your sweetie cheese on toast and a cup of tea. Make them a card, write them a song, give them a back-rub.

Or, send them a nice text. Rather than one suggesting that they’re only in the relationship for the money.


*Yes, I know, I know. He’d also regularly warn me that he was unreliable and emotionally damaged. For some reason, instead of running for the hills, I decided that I’d be the one to give him some emotional stability. Inevitably, I failed.

6 thoughts on “It’s not about the money, money, money”

  1. I am constantly amazed by your stories, Hannah. You seem like such a pleasant, well rounded and engaging person. How come you end up with such a stream of total losers? Maybe you’d like to come on a date with me? If it all goes belly up, at least you will have the pleasure of writing about it, and I will be the star of one of your vignettes!

    1. Thanks Tim! Well, most of the chaps I’ve dated were actually nice enough. It’s just dates are pretty unnatural situations, so they can make all of us say daft things.
      I suspect that if you spoke to some of the people I’ve been on dates with, they wouldn’t describe me in such pleasant terms…!
      Anyway, the relationship in that anecdote was a bit of a mistake, really. The warning signs were there from the start; I stupidly chose to ignore them.

      1. Thanks for the prompt reply. Yes, I too have been on some far from perfect dates. My ‘best’ two were 1. Jane, who told me that she was separated, but not technically divorced. Sadly her husband was blissfully unaware of this. And 2. Sofie, who told me that she couldn’t come into the restaurant where I had planned on taking her, but instead would wait in the car. At first she wouldn’t explain, but eventually I weaseled it out of her: she smelled so bad, she said, that she was embarrassed to go out. Of course, she didn’t smell at all, but there was no convincing her otherwise. Yikes.

        1. Blimey! Tim, those are great tales. I’d love to publish them properly on the website (with drawings), rather than hidden in the comments, if that’s OK…

          1. Hi Hannah, you Palindromatic Person!

            Yes, absolutely fine. I would be honoured to feature in one of your posts. If you like I can provide additional details, but you have the salient points. I did actually have a phone conversation with Jane’s husband. Yes, it was as awkward as you could imagine. I felt truly sorry for him. And Sophie told me that she was going to seek treatment for her smell. Really! I told her that she should indeed go to the doctor but that he would probably treat her for her severe obsessive-compulsive disorder. She said that I was just being kind, but I didn’t need to make up a white lie since she knew for a fact that she smelled bad.

      2. Yep – I’m sure I’ve said some terrible terrible things myself. Still, you’ve got to laugh, haven’t you..?

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