We met at a bar. We drank too many cocktails and swapped numbers. Two weeks later, he called me:
Him: “Do you fancy meeting up this Friday?”
Me: “Sure, that’d be lovely”.
Him: “Do you fancy going to the zoo?”
Me: “Not really. I’m going to the zoo next weekend with my mates. I don’t want to go twice in two weeks, thanks”.
Him: “But I really want to go to the zoo.”
Me: “Yeah, I don’t, really.”
Him: “But the zoo’s great.”
Me: “I know it’s great. That’s why I’m going next weekend.”
Him: “But I’ve already got tickets for us to go the zoo.”
Me: (exasperated) “Fine. That’s fine then. We’ll go to the zoo.”
So, we went to the zoo.
A date that features otters should be magical. This wasn’t a magical date.Without the lubrication of cocktails, our conversation dried up pretty quickly. There’s only so much time you can spend talking about how cute the penguins are. We went our separate ways, knowing we’d never speak again.
Still, at least he got to go to the sodding zoo.