I’d been talking to a man at a Meetup drinks party for maybe ten minutes. In that time, he’d told me about his two ex-wives, why his marriages had broken down and how extraordinarily high his sex-drive was.
I was just looking for the nearest exit when he leaned in suddenly and whispered hoarsely in my ear: “I’m going to kiss you right now. In front of everyone. It’ll scandalise them”.
He did not actually manage to kiss me, as I immediately ran away squeaking “I’M TERRIBLY SORRY I MUST GO TO THE LOO IMMEDIATELY”.
On returning, I grabbed my mate Sarah and we moved seats, leaving Mr Overly-Keen on his own. We managed to avoid him for the rest of the night.
The next day, he emailed me this message (via Meetup, I didn’t give him my details):
“Hi, fancy coffee/tea/meal or a walk in the woods sometime?”.
Classily, he sent the exact same message to Sarah too.
Both Sarah and I felt that there is something slightly of the serial killer about the phrase “a walk in the woods”.
A walk in the woods with a mate, sure! With someone you’ve met in a bar for a few minutes? Who’s been very clear that he’s only interested in sexy time? NO THANKS.