Category Archives: Insults

“I hate blind dates”


Many thanks to Vince for sending in this story of a terrible, terrible date:

“My friend and his girlfriend set me up with her friend on a blind date; we all met up at the girlfriend’s parent’s house. Within five minutes of meeting, my date told me how she hated blind dates; was only there because her friend insisted; and thought the gaps in my teeth “looked weird”.

We were due to hang out at the house for the weekend. I left 90 minutes after I arrived.”

Thank you Vince! 

If you’d like to share your dating horror story, please click here:

A Date with Adonis


Thanks Sophie for sharing this story of a terrible, terrible date:

“I was on a date in a restaurant with a lad who had just started modelling.

To break the ice, I said, jokingly: “It must be quite boring coming back home after that job in Rome?”

He replied: “Actually, it’s nice not to be surrounded by beautiful women for a change.”

He did try and explain that he’d meant they were quite shallow, the conversation was dull, etc – but I had already mentally stabbed him with my fork.

Thank you Sophie!

If you’ve got a dating horror story to share, please click:

Big Ambitions

We’d been seeing each other for a while, but he kept telling me that he wasn’t ready for a proper relationship. Then he sent me an email explaining that he really liked me but had some concerns. Helpfully, he included them as a list. 

Concern number 7 was “You’re allergic to cats, and I hope to own a cat someday”.

How to Make your Date Feel Special

We found each other on the internet; we both loved music and started chatting. After a few emails, he suggested a drink. 

I was on time. I’m always on time. He was late.

He finally arrived, sweaty and unapologetic, and said he had to tell me something:

“You know, I’ve never been on a date with someone with kids before. I always knock back the single mothers straight away, I’m not into them, I’ve no interest in kids, I don’t even like them. But your picture was really nice so I thought I’d make an exception for you.”

Ah! The Date-Killer Klaxon; I’m on a date with King Herod.

Yes, I’m a single mum. I come as a package with two kids; I’m not looking for a new dad for them (they have their own perfectly good father already), but whoever I’m with has got to get on with them. It’s never going to work with someone who openly admits that he doesn’t like children. 

I’m still not sure why he thought that line was a compliment in any shape or form.