Text received after first date: “I’m sat here in my blue underpants, contemplating whether to abuse myself or not”.
In fairness, English wasn’t his first language. But still, it remains the least erotic text I’ve ever received ever ever ever.
Lost In Translation
You cheeky moo. How dare you spread such falsehoods. English is my first language. And my underpants were red.
Well Len… I wasn’t sure if you’d be happy about being so easily identified, so I thought I’d change a couple of details x
To be fair Lenny, that’s a really good sketch of you.
Sounds like a last desperate throw of the dice to me. Weren’t you tempted to reply, ‘And did you?’?
I genuinely couldn’t think how to reply to it, so I didn’t reply. Not very elegant, I know…