Here’s Bob with a tale of an awkward date:
“I was seeing a girl in the third year at university. We met up for a coffee one morning after a lecture. (Obviously, she’d been and I hadn’t. What do you take me for?)
We’d been chatting a little awkwardly in the way that newly dating couples do, and she seemed to be getting increasingly annoyed with me. The date culminated in her saying, “Why are you smiling? What are you smiling at?” – I was just being, y’know, friendly – at which point I thought discretion was the better part of valour and made my excuses. The next time we saw each other, I dumped her.
Her mate told me later that the night prior to SMILEGATE we’d consummated the relationship, I’d been blind drunk, had – ahem – not consummated the consummation, as it were, and had subsequently completely forgotten that it had even happened.